Dear Parents, Is A Bag More Important Than Your Child's Education?

That is the question I am led to ask upon seeing this news article.

(Photo courtesy of handbag.com)

While the item is discussing a situation happening in Bangkok, I have no doubt that it is also happening on our shores. The article opens with the following paragraph:

Luxury items such as Hermes, Gucci and Louis Vuitton handbags and Blythe dolls have been sold at pawnshops nationwide as parents struggle to find money for their children's tuition fees and related expenses for the new school year this month.

The rest of the article seemed to focus more on how much money the items could fetch, and the security measures employed by different pawnshops to secure these pricey items. As a financial adviser, one of the skills I have to use repeatedly is to draw out information even from what little data is offered by the person in front of me.

Given the paragraph above, one can conclude the following.

1. Luxury items induce desire and are coveted. As a friend once pointed out, they are designed to elicit envy in those who do not have them, and pride in those who do. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it sets the next point up.

2. Not having enough money to maintain a luxury lifestyle does not stop people from buying these items. Clearly, the people who resorted to pawning or selling their LV bags or notebooks/tablets (also mentioned later in the article) had enough resources to purchase them - but at the expense of other expenses or needs that have to be addressed.

3. Being a parent does not automatically endow you with the "children come first" instinct. This is something that I thought would be natural, or even primal. I've heard of new parents who have declared that their world has changed - forever - the moment they see their newborn.

But what happens after that heart wrenching moment? I've seen some parents of my schoolmates who are absent - either physically because they would rather be at work or attend parties than spend time with their kids, or emotionally, unable to connect with their children and not having any desire to do so.

And given the paragraph above, I cannot help but wonder: how is it that any parent can afford to buy a luxury bag but forget to realize the obligation of funding a child's education? It is an entirely different situation when a parent is working already to the bone and still can't make ends meet - at least s/he is trying, given his/her circumstances. But a luxury bag - or any luxury item - automatically means you have a substantial amount of money, which leads nicely to the next point.

4. What we do with what we have is always a choice. Since we have established that these are people who are in possession of a not insignificant amount of money - being able to buy a luxury bag - it becomes apparent that they have deemed "having an Hermes bag" more imperative then "I have to save for my son's tuition next year."

If that means I'm being judgmental, I'd like to say that my "judgment" is based on the actions exhibited. It is easy to shriek and say "I love my child! How dare you judge me? You don't even have your own offspring!" but I have always believed something I have been taught: actions will always speak louder.

The moment you have a bubbly baby in your arms, parents should immediately begin mapping out a financial plan that will prepare them for the coming financial obligations. That includes constant saving, investing in vehicles that overtake the inflation rate, budgeting and cutting costs whenever possible. It must be impressed that another human being is now fully dependent on you - that to me is the simplest definition of being a parent. And that brings up my final point.

5. Make your financial priorities clear. Parents are supposed to put their children's needs before their own. I italicized the word because not every parent does that - obviously, otherwise that article about bags and pawnshops wouldn't have been written.

The best way to do that is to know where you are - how much you have, are earning - and what your goals are for the near and far(ther) future; this will lead you into actions to bridge the gap between the two. As an example: you are earning 40,000 a month currently. You have to compute what your child's tuition fees would be by the time s/he enters college, taking into account inflation and the amount of increase that laws allow schools to impose, and the actual school where you want your child to study. (Many parents are fanatical about keeping the Alma Mater tradition.)

That will help you decide how much to save every month from this point on, where to invest your money so it can earn more than what a deposit account can give you, and if needed, to take a job/s that will provide another stream of income (especially if you want your child studying in a 'prestigious' school). Having a goal can help immensely in deciding your actions as far as finances are concerned.

By all means, splurge once in a while. Get a Frappuccino as a treat. No one is advocating being a miser - and it's no surprise that the word leads nicely to being miserable. But if you find yourself rationalizing all kinds of reasons to down that frothy concoction everyday, or getting a new wardrobe every payday - all the while you don't have any savings at all or aren't building up your retirement fund - you might not be looking for a treat so much as trying to blow your paycheck at every chance you can get.

In an ideal (unrealistic) world, we would have unlimited funds to buy everything our hearts desire. But unless you belong to the top 1%, allocating our funds is a reality we face everyday. What we choose to spend on reveals what we prioritize.

One thing I know, though: I haven't heard of anyone being called a bad parent just because she didn't have a designer bag. Unless there's a new memo about parenting that I haven't received.

A Night Of Feasting At Lugang Cafe

Thanks to my Facebook feed, I chanced upon this excellent promotion by Lugang Cafe.

And what a delicious chance it turned out to be.

I have read on some food blogs that have raved about Lugang's version of the dimsum staple, xiao long bao. So reading this promotion made me smile because I could have unlimited amounts of it. I was invited to have lunch at Lugang a few months back, and the memory I have of the hot broth encased in that slightly elastic covering hiding delicious pork is still with me.

We started off with some appetizers (which were also unlimited), and having sampled almost all of them, I can say these are the ones that tickled our taste buds the most.

Garlic Pork Roll. Get this. Get copious amounts of this. The slight blandness of the pork melds well with whatever herbs were encased within the pork and delighted us with the sweet and garlicky sauce around it. It was such a hit at our table, we are embarrassed to reveal how many servings we had.

 Taiwanese Omelette With Preserved Turnip Bits. If you're a fan of any dish with egg in it, then you should take a bite of this - while it's served hot. There was a certain scent (one of the herbs, probably) that permeated through that was both savory and fresh. The turnip bits might be an acquired taste, though I liked it.

Spicy Sliced Offals. Wikipedia defines offals as "internal organs and entrails of a butchered animal," so if you're not a fan on innards (like me), this may not be up your alley. But I was drawn to the spicy smell and I have to admit that it was not unpleasant at all - which is a high compliment coming from someone who detests liver, gizzards and the like. It helped that it was cooked in a spicy sauce. The rest of my party found it delicious, just a tad too spicy.

Steamed Xiao Long Bao. The star dimsum, needing no introduction. There's no time, anyway - everyone was busy gobbling up the tasty morsels.

Soup of the Day. It was spinach that day. If you watch Restaurant Redemption, you'd know that courses like these (in a buffet or order all you can setup) are fillers and presented to offset economic costs. I think my taste buds were spoiled by the Garlic Pork Roll that this seemed unremarkable by the time I tasted it.

Pork Wontons in Spicy Chili Oil. Separately, they work. So it makes sense to join them, right? This elicited a rather divided opinion on the table. Some said it was too spicy, others not enough spice. Maybe we should have ordered a second and third serving to have a control group?

Now, on to the House Specialties. (Note: You can only one House Specialty per person, I would advise you to take part of this promo in at least a group of three to four people, so you can have different House Specialties to sample.)

 

Chicken Topped With Scallion And Ginger Oil. If you love scallions as much as I do, then you're in for a treat. The white, boiled chicken underneath was a perfect canvass for the toppings, and could cause your anti-carb result to crumble. (You cannot eat this without rice. It wouldn't make sense. They just go together, period.)

Hainan Boneless Chicken. My friend Cristie ordered this, and is a perfect alternative to the dish I ordered, from a traditional standpoint. You can see the bird in all of its (pale) glory, with dipping sauces provided at the side to suit everyone's taste. (Of course I still went for the ginger sauce.) And I noticed that this was a larger serving than the one covered in scallions (this was half a chicken).

Crispy Chicken. Can you hear the crunch? Yes, yes and yes. (Yes, I realize that this is the third poultry dish. What can I say? We're chicken fans.) This was dubbed by Art as "Peking Chicken" or what chicken would taste like if they were done the Peking Duck way/style. I have to say this was a crowd pleaser, with happy tummies (and burps) to prove it.

 Wasabi Mayo Prawns. Shrimps in a fried coating covered in wasabi mayonnaise. Enough said. (The broccoli? Decorative. Haha. But seriously, a good counterbalance to the richness of the dish.)

You can view the entire menu list below, and it's a special menu specifically made for the duration of the Feast All You Can promotion. (PhP 588+ on weekdays and PhP 688+ on weekends). Hurry, you only have until the end of May to avail of this promotion.

Happy, happy eating!


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For more information, please check out the sites below.

http://www.lugangcafe.com.ph/
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Lugang-Cafe/195092840524714

The Emperor Is Fully Clothed

While watching the (very delayed but free) telecast of the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight, I could hear my eight-year old niece getting riled up and going, "Go, Manny, bugbugin mo siya! (beat him up)"

As expected, another long commercial break followed (I already knew from online reports that Mayweather won by that time) and I talked to her. "I know you're rooting for Manny, but just to be clear...you know that pambubugbog (beating someone up) is bad, right?"

"Oo naman (Of course), tito (uncle) Joey, I wouldn't do that. Mali naman talaga gawin yun (it's wrong to do that)."

"That's right."

She skips a beat, and then does a follow up. "But tito...this is boxing. This is different naman (anyway) from pambubugbog (beating someone up), right?"

What makes this substantially different from a professional boxing match?

(Photo from news.com.au)

Not sure as to how her parents would answer that, I just asked her to talk to her dad about the differences between professional boxing and beating someone out of the ring, where there isn't PPV (pay per view) recording the brawl.

The truth was, I knew exactly how to answer her question. No, I don't see a difference between the two. They both inflict pain, one can actually die from the blows received, and as far as I know, violence in any form is against every moral code I have ever read up on, studied, tried to learn, or live my life by.

That is not to say that I deny bloodthirsty lust as a human urge. The few times I have ever been involved in activities that involve violence, there is a release that I inherently understand as both appealing and cathartic. A time for words, yes, but sometimes, you just want to beat the crap out of someone for being abusive, or hurtful, or (insert your reason here).

So, no, I am not in a position para magmalinis. (To appear blameless or 'pure' as far as violence is concerned) But in those times, I felt "justified" in some way: an unkind word was said, or someone inflicted violence on me first. I certainly didn't do it to get paid, but to address some wrong - perceived or real - that I felt needed correcting or just to get back at someone.

Which is why boxing is especially abhorrent in my book. To necessarily and purposefully harm another human being - for sport? And to attain wealth and some unfathomable (to me, anyway) version of glory and honor?

What can be less honorable than beating up another human being who has conceivably done nothing to you, just because you belong in the same weight class?

What adds moral weight to glorifying this blood soaked activity is the fact that fighters and fans alike invoke God into these bouts. You may call me a heretic for my next sentence, but any God that actually approves of this activity is not someone I would call the path to enlightenment. This country claims to be the bastion of Christianity in Asia - I fail to see anything Christ-like in cheering two men beat each other into a pulp for money and fame.

It was quite interesting to see my niece compartmentalize what I would describe to be an action that would cause cognitive dissonance. I know of no school in this country that endorses violence; in fact, students engaged in violent activities are quite often expelled or suspended. But we have extolled boxing as "the sweet science" - the absolute definition of a misnomer, but so romantically poetic to hear - and raised Manny Pacquiao to saint-like status that, in her mind, pambubugbog is undoubtedly wrong but boxing is "different".

Should I envy my niece for seeing the emperor as fully clothed?