Styling An (Illicit) Affair

*If you haven't seen A Secret Affair, you may want to turn away now.

Looking good, above all.

(Courtesy of sirearevalo.com)

For a supposedly conservative and religious country, we certainly have an odd attitude towards extra marital affairs, indiscretions and other such similar activities: not only are they tolerated, they seem to have been accepted as woven into our culture, no one even batting an eyelash anymore if someone says they have half-siblings.

Not that I want the batting, but you have to admit, given our penchant for claiming ourselves as pious, it is a peculiar attitude to have.

A Secret Affair is the latest film offering that seems to be parlaying this fact onto the big screen: everyone does it, it can't be helped, just look good while you're doing it. About a third into the film, I was furtively looking for any CBCP representatives in the audience ready to shame us for shelling out money to watch it.

Notes on the film:

(1) Was this film sponsored by a realty company? The places where most of the scenes take place seem to held in model units of condos or houses that seem to be for display, nothing out of place, picture perfect, with one even taking place facing out a picturesque "nature" backdrop. I'm beginning to think that with all their preoccupation with making their houses ready for a brochure close-up, they had no energy left to salvage all their personal relationships.

(2) It's perfectly understandable why Rafaela (Anne Curtis) decided to dump Anton (Derek Ramsay) the night before their wedding - all together now, "classic cold feet". Of course, it's also not clear why anyone would say yes to a wedding proposal just after two months of meeting and dating each other. You'd think that because of what Rafi's parents went through (played by Jacklyn Jose and Joel Torre), she'd be more circumspect about any potential partner.

(3) The most authentic scene for me was the first time Sam (Andi Eigenmann) and Anton knew each other in the biblical sense. They couldn't wait to do it, and they found a construction site to consumate their desire for each other. The authenticity stopped when they were "done", parted ways and rode in their respective brand new cars. I'm not sure if the rich would ever have trysts in a place where they could puncture their alabaster skin with some carelessly lying rust-encrusted nails.

(4) Derek Ramsay is fully utilized for his talents - a.k.a. the current definition of male physical perfection. There doesn't seem to be a single fat cell in his body, and the camera was rather relentless in going over every inch - above the waist - of this sought-after commodity. He's also mastered the I'm-hurt-and-I-sound-like-a-wounded-bird voice, which he used about 90% of the time in this film, crying with Anne/Rafi, pleading with Rafi's parents, or having a monologue while his "bud" listened. No, having that voice doesn't qualify as good acting. The whole time, the words "one trick pony" kept flashing whenever he was onscreen. Good thing his body is the envy of every guy in the country - now that has absolutely no fault whatsoever.

(5) I don't really understand why the movie is an "affair" movie: Sam and Anton were doing it before Rafi entered the picture, and then they started up again only when Rafi dumped Anton and left without explaining why. If anything, Anton has the right to get all huffy; I can see the thought bubble now: "Ikaw na nga nangiwan! Ano, titigil buhay ko dahil wala ka na at di lang man nagsabi kailan babalik?!?"

(6) I don't think any feminist would like the way Sam is portrayed here: like a vulture sizing up the situation and seizing a time to swoop in. You have the obligatory slapping scene between the female leads, but Anton gets it a little bit too easy by doing that dang bird voice routine. Is "it takes two to tango" still unheard of by movie writers? Or is this an attempt to turn stereotypes around? Notice how in the stairwell scene, it is Anton who pretends to resist oral, uh, treatment by Sam (while unsuspecting Rafi walks past by a few times).

Hmm.

(7) I like Jacklyn Jose. I always have.

(8) I might use Rafi's line about coffee in the near future.

(9) I didn't know you could enter high-rise construction sites with a party dress and high heels, with only a hard hat for "protection".

(10) The truth: When trust is broken, things will never be the same. What happens next is always a choice.

I Don't Hate The MMFF

I can't hate something I don't feel strongly passionate about.

Let's be honest here: If you think I'm anti-Pinoy, then a look at this year's 2011 MMFF (Metro Manila Film Mestival) entries will give you a good indication why.

(Photo courtesy of chikkadora.com)


An action hero in a special effects extravaganza, a role handed to the lead actor as some kind of legacy, a voyeuristic heirloom, passing the torch (some would argue the belch) from father to son. Which would be par for the course, since in real life, the father and son both held the same position in government. (And they say the movies aren't realistic.)

Another melodrama starring an actress from my childhood, Maricel Soriano. (I haven't seen/heard about her in quite awhile, so it's refreshing to see her in this lineup, as the current movies and TV shows exhibited locally keep on showcasing the same "actors" and "actresses" over and over and over and over...until we switch to commercials and we see the exact same "models" over and over and over and over.)

Two successful (and by success I mean in monetary terms solely) franchises in filmfest history, the Enteng Kabisote "fairy tales" of Vic Sotto (is he also in the running for the game show host with the longest life span?) and the Ina Mo series from Ai Ai de las Alas have joined forces this time around. They (or their producers) must have heard the "common wisdom" line in showbiz circles: when a celebrity pairs up with another celebrity, their fame multiplies.

A horror movie franchise that has been with me since my high school years, Shake, Rattle and Roll. I was surprised to hear that we're only up to number 13. I guess they needed to use Once Upon A Time In China as their benchmark, which as I remembered lasted till 10 or 11. That's a lot of "once upon a time" to go around. And I'm always puzzled why they release this at Christmas time - are they just going "against the holidays"? It's either that, or they're gunning for the receipts.

The Presidential sister in "her" genre. When I saw the trailer on TV, as she was opening the closet and water came rushing to engulf her, I thought midway: (a) her scream sounded like she saw all her TV shows taken away; (b) there isn't a single acting bone or DNA on her, so she must know The Emperor's New Clothes by heart; and (c) I thought she promised to go away when her brother was elected?

The only two films I am holding out hope for - in place of pride in local cinema, I'm left grasping for any reason to believe that anything of substance will come out of it still - are the entries that aren't "fantasy" flicks: Manila Kingpin and My Househusband. One is a look at a notorious warlord, the other is a reversal of gender roles.

I've only seen one of them, and hopefully I will complete seeing the other one this week.

Two things I wish to let the producers of these films know - and as a consumer, my voice is just as valid as anyone else's, so stop hounding me for film credits or asking if I've ever directed a movie.

One, placing all these movies side by side, and force feeding them to the public under the guise of "saving local cinema" (for these 2 weeks, foreign films are banned from being shown in theaters) only highlights the mediocrity that local cinema coughs up as "films". In a festival that is supposed to celebrate "the best" in Filipino filmmaking, we are constrained to choose movies that make us hurl the least.

And two: Quality does not recognize race. If a film is good or, pray tell, even great, it's good or great because the film is good or great, and not because the actors/directors/producers were Filipino, or Armenian, or Latin Americans. A film that has merits will stand up to "Hollywood blockbusters" - now there's another industry spawning off mindless flicks. (Just with better looking actors. And even that point is debatable.)

You have just wasted an opportunity, a golden one, to use film and art as a medium to challenge, inspire and make people think, even if it makes them uncomfortable. And with the thick hides of many Filipinos, we all know it's going to take a lot to make these types uncomfortable.

Sayang.

Beware The Zombadings: You Might Miss It

If you're in need of laughs, this film provides it. In spades.

Framed with ribbons.

Arthur has been asking me to block off a date for us to watch Zombadings 1: Patayin Sa Shokot Si Remington, and we finally did after I got off work today. I knew that there was considerable buzz on the net about it, and one of my favorite writers/bloggers has been promoting it constantly - Jessica Zafra.

I'm glad we did. It's hilarious and plays on a controversial topic with such panache that the "are we really talking about this?" factor is stripped away.

The pink elephant is now the sparkly elephant in the middle of the room that everyone gathers around.

Two things stood out for me. Let's go for the negative first.

The premise for what "caused" Remington (Martin Escudero) to "become gay" was a curse bestowed upon him by an older gay man (Roderick Paulate), as the young Remington was making fun of Roderick's character, who was in mourning at the time. The "resolution" of the "curse" was for the "exorcism" of the "gayness" from Remington, and it "had" to be "passed on" to someone who is "totally straight".

Concepts that I am clearly uncomfortable about (to put it mildly) for very obvious reasons. This "theory" of how "gayness" originates certainly comes from the same thread that spawns the ideas that you can either "pray the gay away" or that you can beat the living daylights out of a young child so that his or her homosexuality can be arrested. In either scenarios, there is an element of "outside intrusion" that is seen to make someone "abnormal" (in this particular instance, homosexuality as defined by conservatives).

The only way I can accept that "theory" if there is also a "spirit" that makes people straight.

I realize that the writers of the film may be playing this up as a poke to people who believe in this theory. However, given how some people take things literally, I am sure this either produced an "ahh, ganun pala yun!" moment in some, or served to reinforce the beliefs of those who take this theory to heart.

Now, the positive: The part that resonates with what I've observed in life is that most homophobic men are often revealed to be gay themselves, but unable to accept this fact, they direct their frustration and their anger at those who do have the freedom, the courage, or both, to live their (gay) lives openly. In the movie, the "villain" has a "special gun" that identifies men as "gay" if he points it - and he is revealed to be gay himself in the end.

I did blog about Senator Larry Craig last month (http://theguywithablog.blogspot.com/2011/08/hypocrites-hypocrites-everywhere.html), someone who is staunchly opposing any legislation that is labeled "gay-friendly", but who was caught soliciting sex from a male officer in an airport bathroom. So, I applaud the film makers for succinctly capturing this truth about those who seem so virulently homophobic. (Yes, I know, there are people who are homophobic purely because of bigotry, or because their priest/pastor told them that homosexuality is "of a demonic nature". But it's often my experience that men who are self-assured in their own (heterosexual) sexuality have nothing to fear from any manifestations of homosexuality.

The film has a steady stream of "laugh pockets" (as I call these episodes where people continually laugh, broken by quieter scenes). Watch out for Roderick's scene with the candle, the confrontation of Remington and Roderick's character, and the dance extravaganza by Remington. (My favorite was when Remington was in the toilet providing "gay translations" for the pail, sink, etc.)

I am also grateful for the film makers for providing translations for the "gay-speak" that was used liberally throughout. The ones used were much too convoluted to be understood in one go. (Hinting for the DVD release, please.)

All in all, I enjoyed the film immensely.

Watch it. NOW.