The Petty Weather Report

Divine forecasting?

(Courtesy of countryliving.com)

Brought to you by the most ardent factions who oppose the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill. And, by ardent, I mean "wait...you were serious?"

As the country is starting to feel the effects of typhoon Pablo, (some) opponents of the RH Bill have revived their wistful theory: the meteorological phenomenon is actually "God's" response to the RH Bill being so dangerously close to passing, or at least being brought into a vote.

The reason I put it in quotes is because, quite frankly, there are some obvious problems and questions if we are to proceed from this premise.

(1) A god who is into micromanaging strikes me as silly, to say the least. Shouldn't he at least have some lower-level demigods to do the nitty-gritty?

(2) Why doesn't this god just wipe out the people who support the bill? The unsaid assumption is that this god is so powerful so as to conjure up weather disturbances when something displeases him - why not strike directly at the humans who dared to "defy" him? Bakit nagpapaligoy pa? Could it be...that this god is also Filipino, and cannot say and do things directly, being saddled with the cultural value called hiya?

(3) If you have to destroy vast areas of land, uproot various living beings from where they are, and cause countless deaths just to make a point, doesn't that reek of inefficiency? Granted, the drama factor is high - and this being the place where telenovelas make a killing, both in advertising earnings and the national IQ, it seems apt to use the "showtime" card. But from a business point of view, there are better, smarter ways of solving the problem.

(4) This country, by virtue of its location, is lovingly visited by about twenty typhoons, each year, every year, without fail. All one needs to do is research for historical records for proof of this annual occurence. This year, the RH Bill gained some kind of "movement" in Congress in August - when this "God is angry, here's a typhoon" theory was circulating in social media - and, just this December, when the President made it known that he wanted a vote on the matter. That's 2 out of 20 typhoons. Question: in the 18 other times a typhoon hit the country, when the RH Bill was not "moving", which implies that the anti-RH side was getting their way, why did this same god still send these typhoons?...Anyone?

(5) If this god deems this issue of great import, why does he have funny looking and speaking representatives broadcasting his "wishes"? You would think that credibility would be of paramount consideration here.

(6) The typhoon is expected to move out of the country by the end of this week, plauging other places as it goes on (its expected, natural course). Question: bakit nadamay ang mga ibang bansa sa RH Bill natin? Ang labo naman.

(7) Why do we bother investing in weather forecasting equipment? If this theory is true, then we know all we need to know to have eternal sunshine-filled weather.

(8) Speaking of other countries, an oft-repeated statement circulating is that we are the only country in the world without a nationally encompassing reproductive health legislation in the world. If this is true, how come there are places in the world that never see typhoons?

(9) Abortion, modern contraception, divorce: all three are legal in Italy. In totally unrelated news, it's also where Vatican City is located.

(10) If you think I'm acting irreverent and petty, you're mistaking your own projection of your god as something of my own doing. Frankly, I'd be insulted to be portrayed and thought of as a god who got overtly and overly concerned with trivialities.

Get a mirror, get a grip and get a life.