The Worst Diet Possible

Which makes sense, because this is one of the worst conditions anyone can have. This picture pretty much "crystallizes" my current condition.

Parties? What parties?

(Courtesy of uvahealth.com)

Now, on to that horrid diet.

One that disallows the usual suspects: lechon, anything beef-related (which pretty much rules out any kind of steak and especially bulalo), palabok, chicken skin, peanuts, chicharon and any and all internal organs (which thankfully I'm not a fan of, so it seems like no great sacrifice).

That staple of Filipino celebrations - nada.

(Courtesy of everythingcebu.com)

The above list seems like a "normal" list of things to avoid if you went to a cardiologist. And here's where the infuriating part comes in.

If you had a heart condition, I am guessing a doctor would encourage the following items: vegetables like asparagus, broccoli, and cauliflowers; seafoods like tuna, sardines, salmon, and shrimps; alternative protein sources like legumes and soy products, in place of meat and animal products.

These are evil?

(Courtesy of diettogo.com)

Guess what? These items, traditionally considered as healthy choices, are also prohibited in my current diet.

Welcome to the wonderful world of gout.

Did I say wonderful? I meant despicable.

How else would you describe a pain so sensitive, that the mere wind from a passing breeze or the brush of a blanket can render you unable to move and shedding bitter tears? If there was a candidate for which pain could possibly compete with a toothache - long considered the "worst" kind of pain in some circles so as to immobilize you - this would be it.

So, I'm barred from the good things (good for health and heart), as well as the "good" things (the ones that could block your arteries but make you smile ingesting them).

A diet that lumps bean sprouts and consomme in the same category as fatty loin of pork and roast beef.

So, if I'm extra ornery and irritable, you have been warned.