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Friday, January 11, 2013

Still, Grateful

A nasty surprise awaited me earlier this week. I was thrown under the bus.

Maybe I should rephrase that: it was not entirely unexpected. When one refuses to bow down, compromise, or say "hmm, this sh*t tastes good!" there will always be those with frail egos and even more minute minds who will do what they deem necessary in order for their world to remain unshaken.

While it was happening, I felt a strange sense of calm come over me. It's funny, I found that as I could see a particular road coming to an end, before my eyes,  it was also at that moment that I felt a swelling of possibilities sprouting up, like new buds taking in their first light.

It felt freeing. Wonderful. Exciting.

It also gave me a chance to look back at the road I had traversed, and I truly, truly have no regrets. What right did I have, seeing so many others, just like me, who have not even had a tenth of the opportunities I was allowed to seize and take advantage of?

When I was given a rare gift - to do something I loved, and to also make that my source for sustenance? How many people can claim to really like what they do in order to put food on the table?

And most importantly, for the people I had met along the way, if only for this reason, I will eternally be grateful: from countless acquaintances, clients, colleagues, my internal life was enriched because somehow, everyone gave as much as they received from me. It's true, you learn something from everyone: some people teach you the value of perseverance. Others, why the act of holding your tongue can be a masterful skill. There are those who will show you why laughing until it hurts - until you are forced to roll on the ground - is one of those moments that all humans should have.

And for those people who have penetrated my force field, the ones who I let in, as much as they have let me in theirs, for sharing with me your laughter, your stories, your fears, and yes, our collective inadequacies and insecurities, for connecting with me on so much more than just a passing level, we are richer for it. Our time together was never wasted - and some of who will still be with me on a shared journey - but to those who, by dint of circumstance, I will have to part ways with, it was good, and it was as good as it gets.

Our paths may cross again, but what's important is that they already did. I have nothing but gratefulness, and I look forward to seeing what this new day - everyday - may hold: it's been quite sometime since I've gotten excited at the "mere" prospect of waking up and seeing what's in store for me.

It really is a brand new day.

(Courtesy of