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Monday, June 3, 2013

Boobs, Boobs Everywhere

This is what greeted me when I got out of the elevator.

(Courtesy of

If you divided these among three women, that is.

While Art was getting ready, I went ahead to get the car for our weekly grocery shopping. When I got to the lobby, three young women in tops (I wager they were in their early 20's) that would make mothers indignant and nuns blush stood, er, in full attention, ready to push me back in the car using their barely concealed breasts. Now I know this is a dream scenario for most men, but because I'm part of the 10, 2.5 or even not one percent (depending on which statistic you choose to believe), their charms are lost on me.

All I could think of was, why are three pairs of boobs blocking my exit?

Since they were trying to inch their way in and I was trying to get out before the elevator door closed, I had no choice but to force my way out, having to graze a couple of those pairs in the process. One of them feigned an aray expression, while the other one attempted to use sarcasm and hollered "I'm sorry, ha."

You're not taking the Mass Railway Transit, ladies, where you have to practically shove people to get a spot. And even if you were taking the MRT, didn't your parents ever tell you that you're supposed to let people out before pushing your way in, whatever form of transportation? I suppose I could have shamed them for their rudeness and lack of knowledge of social conduct, but my saliva wasn't worth wasting on those three.

Within ten minutes, we had gotten to the supermarket; as we parked at an available spot that was closest to the store entrance, we were then surprised because a car suddenly parked beside us, which was part of the driveway. Before we could size up the driver, another car parked beside her, effectively blocking the entire driveway. As Art and I were (literally) collectively rolling our eyes, the security guard had to go over and explain to these two geniuses why they couldn't park where they were at.

As we got in the store, Art and I ended up talking about the elections in relation to what we just witnessed: after certain candidates won, there was a "theory" that it was because the masa was stupid enough to vote for these same faces, over and over. But we just witnessed two cars park on the driveway, and we could assume that these were reasonably educated people who were better off than half of the people in this country financially to afford those not-so-old car models. So much for that "theory" relating intelligence with socio-economic status.

Before I could dismiss it as a fluke, one of the geniuses also exited the supermarket at the same time we did. He wasted no time driving against the one way path, going a longer way than if he had followed the clearly marked paths, in order to get to the car park exit.

Boob heads: when it rains, they...bounce all over the place.

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