A Rose Among (Cyberspace) Thorns

Lucky to have found a gem of a rose.

(Courtesy of gaiaonline.com)

Anyone still remember "ASL"?

Age. Sex. Location.

In those heady days when the internet meant a longish wait for a dial tone and some static noise, ASL was an instant way to introduce oneself as well as eliminate "leads" at an early stage. Most often used in chatrooms of a social/dating nature, it gave a little background into who you were talking to online, and afforded some a chance to be...playful. (A friend recalled that for Location, someone replied "soon, on top of you".)

In the years that followed, my view of online life (social and otherwise) changed from a variation of a dating service, to a one stop information hub, to a place to reacquaint with old friends and classmates (Facebook has made its mark in this arena), to a springboard for effecting meaningful social change, and now - unexpectedly - cultivating deep connections and even friendships with someone you haven't met in person.

If you spend time online, it is inevitable that your interests will show. Instead of the ASL of years past (although I believe it is still used these days), the filter we now use to decide on whether to continue engaging with someone online is to see shared common interests. All those things people click on as "Like", or what groups and sites they comment most passionately on, are an indication (not foolproof, but a reasonably good one) of how a meeting of minds is probable and not just possible.

That is how I met Doc Wee.

She was a comrade, early on, when groups calling for the support of the RH (Reproductive Health) Bill were being put up. Her witty barbs as well as acerbic comebacks ensured that she would get your attention. I later found out that she was a (medical) doctor by profession, which explained how she was able to cite facts to state her case, but always delivered in an engaging manner. (One thing Doc Wee isn't is boring.)

Months later, I would find out that she also ran marathons. I confessed to her that while I never did find the sport itself appealing (ankle problem), I have admired runners for their endurance and dedication: you can't run a 42K without putting in serious time (logging in actual time running for months and possibly years on end) and earning your stripes with each foot strike on the pavement.

She is also a mountaineer. I thought, she goes great distances vertically and horizontally, is there any challenge she isn't up for? Which showcases her fortitude, really. While I have always enjoyed a mountain top view from an airplane seat, she assures me that there is nothing quite like making the trek oneself, finishing an oxygen-wrenching climb, that rewards you with a view that will remain etched in memory forever.

She is dedicated to her family, that much was clear. She never failed to include them in conversations, when the situation called for it, and even when they didn't. I can tell that she was exceedingly proud of her children, and from the little snippets they have shown when Doc Wee was battling with a homophobe who posted hateful, irrational messages on her (Facebook) Wall, she has every reason to be: her kids responded to the homophobe in clear, concise language that put his homophobia in place, showing him who were the adults in this situation. (And proof positive that it's an online jungle out there.) The fact that none of her children were over 20 made the exchange even more astounding, that they had so much insight and compassion at their ages, which can only be a testament to how they were brought up.

Doc Wee also paints, and as someone who was never gifted in the ways of the brush, I am in awe of someone who can say "I'm using both sides!" of their cranial activity. Learning of this fact gave me a sense of jealousy, I admit, because painting seems to be such a tactile, visceral and refreshingly raw way of conveying the inside for the outside world.

And in the many, many conversations we've had and her commentaries online, her passion for helping other women gain control and self confidence in their own lives was revealed to be more than just (online) lip service: she spends a considerable amount of time going to disadvantaged communities, offering advice and help to women who may feel powerlessness at their current situation.

Just recently, she came back from a trip where she also spent time with kids with special needs. She brought her kids along so that they could experience and know what it means to her to do this, and as she said "they give me more than what I can give them". And she did this without fanfare, just sharing pictures of the great time she had with these children. It is in stark contast to someone in the recent impeachment trial, who went online to one of the top blogs to profess her piety as well as her "work with the poor", parading and enumerating how many churches she goes to and how many prayer circles she has with the wealthy and powerful.

Doc Wee has shown me that sometimes, life in its unexpected form can yield marvelous, wondrous surprises. I never, never expected to be able to meet someone online who would enrich my life in a spectacular way. Our conversations run the gamut of why we, uhm, like Barack Obama, to the poetry of Walt Whitman, and dissecting the inanity of noontime variety show hosts.

We have a common inspiration of dreaming for a better country, and when I feel hopelessness and despair with what is happening politically, she is one of the few people who is able to frame things in perspective and to continue keeping the flame burning.

Doc Wee is a woman who thinks and feel with so much voraciousness for eating into life itself; who laughs and also despairs, who thinks the world of her family and friends. She makes this world and life better by striving to better herself and the lives of those around her. She minces no words but they all come from a core filled with compassion and understanding what comprises the human in the word humanity.

On your very, very special day, let me greet you a very happy birthday. One life isn't enough for all your adventures, but you make the rest of us feel that we aren't living our own lives to the fullest of potentials, with an appetite that will devour life in all of its joys and, yes, its pain. Thank you for the gift of knowing you.

Happy birthday, my friend.

I (Somewhat) Respect "Celebrities" Now

I finally know what it feels like to be a celebrity.

(Photo courtesy of bling.com.au)

I don't mean the fame (which I never aspired to), or the money (which I won't deny I need more of). Instead, why I now feel a kinship with those who live their lives in a glass bowl is that we have both been accused of doing something and the "press" going on and on about it without fact finding, or worse, despite knowing the facts.

And I have to say, this part of their job is tough. Kudos to them who have to withstand the bricks thrown their way and coming out unscathed - at least, on camera.

There is a rumor going around that I spread rumors about someone to my friends, who told someone who knew someone and who, in turn told the subject of the rumor that I was the origin of the rumor.

Still with me? (This sounds like week 42 of Melrose Place.)

The affected party asked me directly about it. I denied I ever did that because it's the truth. And after only a short time talking about it, we considered the issue dead.

And now someone is going to the "press" (a.k.a. social media) saying how she hates rumor starters.

Substitute the cast of characters in this tale with any of today's "stars", and it could be as current as the latest showbiz news you had automatically sent on your phone.

I'm bothered by this latest development because of two things.

One: I take people at their word when they say "this issue is done and over with". I am thankful that the supposed injured party came directly to me and asked the "supposed" source, instead of feeding the flames. But if you say "the end", then I will take you at your word. If you weren't really fine with how this was resolved, (or should I say "resolved", since someone is going on and on about it like a live feed from CNN) then say so. Don't say "OK" when you are obviously bothered by it.

Two: I am very clear with what the word "friend" means, and part of that word means an intimate knowledge of the other person. If there's one word that has been associated with me for the longest time, it's that I have a tendency or I leave an impression of being "anti-social". I am unlike the other people in my profession, who are bubbly, cheery, all smiles. I don't feel like a game show host wanting to interview people and getting them to share their stories. Many clients will attest to the fact that as soon as I am done with work, I leave right away - I don't have the stomach for the "social game" - where I have to feign ooh-ing over things I don't have passing knowledge of when I would rather be home eating my beloved's cooking.

And people who like spreading rumors are anything but private. In fact, they count on a large social circle - many of those in that circle coming under a hideously dubious description of "friend" - in order to trade gossip with.

If the injured party, after all our years of friendship, thinks that I have the disposition and the characteristics of a social butterfly who flits all over the place, then I must have overestimated the depth and breadth of our pagkakaibigan. And that truly saddens me.

If you can't be honest with friends with how you really feel, who does that leave you with? And just like that song goes, If you don't know me by now, you will never, never, never know me.

They say that with celebrity come the perks.

Excuse me if I don't go out trying to get a reality show of my own. If this is the "reality" of what it means to be well-known and talked about, then my parents have taught me right all along. I can't imagine setting myself up for a steady diet of rumors and intrigues - and to think, "stars" willingly go through this on an almost daily basis. I suppose the trade-off is worth it in their estimation.

Not to me.

And now, a much-needed caffeine boost to get me out of the doldrums. Or I just need an update on how Kim Kardashian - talk about poster girls for reality shows - has divorced her husband Kris Humphries after 72 days of marriage.

Either way, I'll feel better soon after.

Taking A Bite Out Of Beijing

And when I say a bite, I mean it. You'd have to stay for weeks, maybe months, to have a proper meal.

(Photo courtesy of kinabaloo.com)

We were forewarned that it would be nippy, and that people from warmer climates would have to bundle up. In fact, the day we left for Beijing, China, the weather reports indicated a low of 1 degree Celsius! We would practically be in a freezer! Gloves! Boots! Oversized coats! A baggage problem waiting to happen!

(Photo courtesy of kaboodle.com)

A 6AM flight meant that we had to be at the airport at least by 4AM. You can imagine what that does for my sleep cycle. But the prospect of missing the flight - as part of a packaged tour already prepaid for - was much more disconcerting. That singular thought, more than anything, kept me up all night.

Seeing the area where we boarded gave me a dismal, sinking feeling: The carpets were even dirtier than I remembered, and we were asked to line up along the stairs, as the person checking the boarding passes was seated at the foot of the stairs. I felt like a college student back in Diliman all over again.

Thanks to some of our credit cards having "aerial" benefits, we were able to stay at the MIASCOR lounge before departing. It had a comfortable seating area (though not really suited for sleeping if that was what you wanted to do), and a spread of canapes, cereals, sandwiches, rice, chicken, as well as coffee, juices and other soda drinks, that you could keep going back for over and over - I guess we'll go with the description of "buffet".

We boarded our Air China flight on the dot. It turned out that every Filipino on that flight was part of our tour group, and when a get together like that comes to pass, you'd have to be prepared for the decibel levels, snarky asides and gales of hilarious laughter. Already, you could feel the involuntary body jolt, as if we were holding on to a live wire: This was a trip to remember.

Breakfast from the airline took a long time coming, so Arthur suggested that we take a look at some movies stored in my iPod. And that's when we discovered - I must have left the iPod at the boarding area, where I was looking at weather reports and any last minute news about China.

I was determined NOT to let this tragedy color the tone of my trip.

Breakfast consisted of an omelette that would make plastic goods manufacturers proud, some fruits and yoghurt, as well as a choice of drinks. When you add the snotty flight attendants to the mix, you could have thought all of these things to be a bad foreboding of the trip to come.

The moment we landed, things changed - all for the better.

(Photo courtesy of panoramio.com)

Where else in the world did you have to take a train just to get your luggage?!? To say that Beijing Capital Airport was "huge" would qualify as one of the year's grossest understatements. Someone from our tour group reprised us of the fact that all of the glitz and beefing up of their airport was really fast tracked in time for the Beijing Olympics in 2008.

I wonder how we would fare should the Olympics be held in our fair islands.

As with most modern airports, the theme was sleek and modern. Shades of silver and grey, a smattering of white, metallic furniture and automatic gadgets - all of which lead to a frame of design that screamed "future".

One question kept popping up in our collective minds whenever we would drop in on the sights in Beijing, which was started in their airport terminal: Where does it end?

(Photo courtesy of crystalinks.com)

(Photo courtesy of noholidaynolife.com)


Whether it was Tiananmen Square, The Forbidden City, or the Great Wall, they all looked like they were stretching into infinity. While our lovely tour guide Laurie kept peltering us with facts about how many square meters each site was, my mind could not wrap around their metric measurements, as the visual landscape continued to stun and amaze me, one of the few times in my life where I am left in awe, my jaw dropped to the floor, and my mind was abuzz figuring out the amount of work it took to achieve these monuments and feats that can only inspire joy and wonder.

By the end of the trip, I had concluded that the Chinese were really size queens.

(More of these adventures in the next post.)