I don't mean the fame (which I never aspired to), or the money (which I won't deny I need more of). Instead, why I now feel a kinship with those who live their lives in a glass bowl is that we have both been accused of doing something and the "press" going on and on about it without fact finding, or worse, despite knowing the facts.
And I have to say, this part of their job is tough. Kudos to them who have to withstand the bricks thrown their way and coming out unscathed - at least, on camera.
There is a rumor going around that I spread rumors about someone to my friends, who told someone who knew someone and who, in turn told the subject of the rumor that I was the origin of the rumor.
Still with me? (This sounds like week 42 of Melrose Place.)
The affected party asked me directly about it. I denied I ever did that because it's the truth. And after only a short time talking about it, we considered the issue dead.
And now someone is going to the "press" (a.k.a. social media) saying how she hates rumor starters.
Substitute the cast of characters in this tale with any of today's "stars", and it could be as current as the latest showbiz news you had automatically sent on your phone.
I'm bothered by this latest development because of two things.
One: I take people at their word when they say "this issue is done and over with". I am thankful that the supposed injured party came directly to me and asked the "supposed" source, instead of feeding the flames. But if you say "the end", then I will take you at your word. If you weren't really fine with how this was resolved, (or should I say "resolved", since someone is going on and on about it like a live feed from CNN) then say so. Don't say "OK" when you are obviously bothered by it.
Two: I am very clear with what the word "friend" means, and part of that word means an intimate knowledge of the other person. If there's one word that has been associated with me for the longest time, it's that I have a tendency or I leave an impression of being "anti-social". I am unlike the other people in my profession, who are bubbly, cheery, all smiles. I don't feel like a game show host wanting to interview people and getting them to share their stories. Many clients will attest to the fact that as soon as I am done with work, I leave right away - I don't have the stomach for the "social game" - where I have to feign ooh-ing over things I don't have passing knowledge of when I would rather be home eating my beloved's cooking.
And people who like spreading rumors are anything but private. In fact, they count on a large social circle - many of those in that circle coming under a hideously dubious description of "friend" - in order to trade gossip with.
If the injured party, after all our years of friendship, thinks that I have the disposition and the characteristics of a social butterfly who flits all over the place, then I must have overestimated the depth and breadth of our pagkakaibigan. And that truly saddens me.
If you can't be honest with friends with how you really feel, who does that leave you with? And just like that song goes, If you don't know me by now, you will never, never, never know me.
They say that with celebrity come the perks.
Excuse me if I don't go out trying to get a reality show of my own. If this is the "reality" of what it means to be well-known and talked about, then my parents have taught me right all along. I can't imagine setting myself up for a steady diet of rumors and intrigues - and to think, "stars" willingly go through this on an almost daily basis. I suppose the trade-off is worth it in their estimation.
Not to me.
And now, a much-needed caffeine boost to get me out of the doldrums. Or I just need an update on how Kim Kardashian - talk about poster girls for reality shows - has divorced her husband Kris Humphries after 72 days of marriage.
Either way, I'll feel better soon after.
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