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Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Bible Quiz To Help Manny

This quiz may be beneficial to your new "quest".
(Courtesy of

Your objective:

(1) Spot how many biblical prohibitions are being committed.
(2) Support these with bible verses, otherwise they are inadmissible.
(3) Show what penalties are applicable, if any.

Bonus points: Identifying the offense clearly - e.g. abomination, displeasing, etc.


"Mom, can we please go to the mall with you and dad?"

Carla Rutherford looks at the pleading eyes of her children, Samson and Melanie. (Known collectively as S and M.) She thought to herself, how can I resist those big, dopey eyes?

"Alright...but Sammie, you must stop by Broono's while we're there, your hair is too long. And Mel, how about we take a mani-pedi session while Dad goes to his usual hardware store, otherwise known as his fantasy place?"

The children look at each other and nod vigorously. Mel pulls on Samson's arms like she usually does as the ate (older sister): "Don't go running off to the arcade again! I will not go look for you!"

Sammie makes a face and sticks his tongue out, and both kids go running to change their clothes, leaving Carla to do the same. She walks over to her jewelry collection, and sees the wedding ring from her first marriage. She sighed wistfully, remembering the time when her married name was still Carla Manalo. As Pablo was a seaman, she was used to him being away for long stretches of time. But when he never bothered checking up on her for almost a year, she started to get frantic.

That was more than 10 years ago. Calls to the company he worked for resulted in one lead: he left the ship when it docked in Greece and was never seen again. A court had ruled that her marriage was now null and void, having had no contact with Pablo for years. On the day it became official, she decided to go to Rack Well and buy something nice for herself, determined to mark the end of her sadness. That was when Patrick Rutherford happened to be strolling the same mall as well, and the rest is history.

It was only when she had fallen - hard - for him, that he revealed he was in the process of divorcing his wife, whom he married straight from high school. (California laws make divorce very complicated.) But she stuck by him, and Carla convinced him to "turn Catholic" (even if only for show) so that everything would be aboveboard when they faced a priest in what both would call their second marriage.

While perusing through her closet, she saw the rows of cotton-polyester shirts her husband loves to purchase more than wear, and spotted an unusual color that reminded her of steamed crabs. She used her palm to hit her head, remembering just then to call for reservations at their all-you-can-eat crustacean place, which was definitely standing room only on a weekend.

"Ma'am Carla!" A familiar voice greets her, their favorite waiter, Rod. "Wag kayo magalala. (Don't worry) Your table will be ready by the time you all get here. And para ke (for) Sammie-boy, double porkchops, as usual?"

"Salamat, Rod. Oo, kasi allergic sya sa alimango, eh." (Thank you, Rod, yes, because he's allergic to crabs.)

After putting the phone down, she spots her favorite pair of jeans and decides to wear it, since she will be getting down and dirty using her hands, anyway. She snaps on her pearl earrings, and steps on the weighing scale. She decides to read it in kilos, because she never likes the figure when it is in pounds.



Answer Key:

(1) Getting a haircut.
     "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard."
     (Leviticus 19:27)
     No punishment stated.

(2) Women are not permitted to teach men. (2 counts: Mel to Sammie, Carla to Patrick)
     "I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man, she must be quiet."
     (1 Timothy 2:12)
     No punishment stated.

(3) Gold and pearls are forbidden to be worn.
     "I also want women to dress modestly...not with braided hair...or gold or pearls..."
     (1 Timothy 2:9)
     No punishment stated.

(4) Secular declarations of nullity are of no consequence in unions "presided by God".
     "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh...what God has joined together, let no man separate."
     (Matthew 19:3)
     No punishment stated.

(5) Carla and Patrick are committing adultery, since the Bible hardly acknowledges divorce.
     "If a man be found lying with a woman married to a husband, then they shall both of them die."
     (Deuteronomy 22:22)

(6) More than one fabric on clothes is not allowed.
     "Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material."
     (Leviticus 19:19)
     No punishment given.

(7) Crabs do not have fins or scales.
     "Anything living in the water that does not have fins or scales is to be regarded as unclean by you."
     (Leviticus 11:12)
     No punishment given.

(8) Pork is also forbidden.
     "And the is unclean for must not eat their meat or touch their carcasses."
     (Leviticus 11: 7-8)
     No punishment given.

(9) Women must not wear pants, as it is manly.
     "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man...all that do so are abomination..."
     (Deuteronomy 22:5)
     No punishment given.

(10) The weighing scale is abominable when it shows kilos and pounds.
       "Diverse weights...and measures, both of them alike are abomination to the Lord."
       (Proverbs 20:10)
       No punishment given.


So, Manny, how did you do?


  1. Great Post! These type post really effective and knowledge full. I love this post. Keep it on...

    1. This post was a sarcastic one. Just thought I should clear that up.

      Thanks for the compliment!

  2. I think Manny already denied he said that thing about being gays, and the writer admitted he added the bible verse to that.

    LIke I always say, it's the fundamentals of the Bible that are good, the confusion is when you get down to the details. I prefer to just stick to the basics. When you get to details it can be kind of controlling. A lot of churches do that.

  3. It is unfortunate, though, that people use the details to justify what they do to be morally upright, even when it harms other people and denies them basic rights.

    Love one another. If we distill it to that, the Bible is pretty much a lovely book.