The benefits of having society pages.
(Courtesy of nocaptionneeded.com)
I've never had so much money that I can afford to take a private jet to Belize just to catch the sun from that part of the world, so if you think my commentaries about society pages seem to reek from some form of jealousy, I would like to state that it's more a matter of not comprehending where these characters are coming from: why would I need to flaunt where I traveled or what the f*** I just ate in some rustic villa off the coast of some "millionaire's playground", to be printed in some glossy or newspaper, in a country as poor as ours? (Majority of people here cannot afford three meals a day. Don't deny that we are a poor country.)
Talk about rubbing the calamansi on an open sore courtesy of malnutrition.
If I suddenly had to switch hats and become one of society pages' biggest defenders, how would I go about doing this task? What can I possibly say to give it a positive spin?
1. "Society pages provide jobs for editors, fashion consultants and everyone in the magazine who push these overpriced goods! We are job creators!"
2. "Our newspapers are printed on recyclable materials! Society pages are part of the environmentally-conscious sectors of society!"
3. "Tourism industries blossom because Mrs. What's-Up-Her-Butt went clubbing in ____________! We support the various tourist destinations of First World countries, who need even more money!"
4. "Think of the rich people and the social climbers! Where will they spend money if these pages aren't published? We are humanitarians who love showing (certain) people the way (to throw their money away)!"
5. "How selfish can you get? When you have pretty and nice things, you must share these blessings with the world!...no, no, we're not rubbing it in the faces of people who can't even feed their kids, we are sending them a message of aspiration, so that they will want to have a better life, to have all the nice things we have, even though we all know that they never will have those in this lifetime!"
6. "This is a chance to teach the "others" about life: The pursuit of beauty, like most things, has a price. It's a steep one. Pay up to enter this world."
7. "I've donated naman 10,000 pesos to my charity, ah!" (Socialite saying this while carrying a bag worth 2.5 million pesos, a dress for half a million, shoes for another half million, in a car that costs 10 million pesos.)
8. "We are not inciting envy. When we flaunt the goods we have and the places we go to, we are actually building up your self esteem. If you don't buckle from feeling bad because you will never have these things even if you work 20 hours a day, we are contributing to your personal and emotional growth!"
9. "There's too much ugliness in the world. We are championing the opposite."
10. "We're just more upfront about the correlation between human nature, pride and greed. You?"
That's all I have, so far.